I remember how I felt the day that I found out that Erica Badu's locks were fake. In a word, duped.
Erica Badu, she of the ankh and incense, and huge headwraps reaching toward the sky. She who championed the cause of the afro-centric, elevated, highly intelligent black females amongst us. There were many who could relate to her- because they aspired to be what she seemingly had become- in touch- at peace- aware.
I always had felt inadequate when I listened to Erica's songs. I kept in mind that she was an artist...LOL... but she was so "perfect" - and I was not, am not... will not. Be that as it may, I loved to listen to the songs and I was challenged to learn about the symbolism and I wanted to be a better "me" because of her. I wanted her beautiful huge afro, and her long twisted locks. I wanted to know why brass cuffs were "better" than Tiffany lockets. I wanted to stop relaxing my hair and "get back to my roots" first because Erica Badu did it - and looked good while doing it- every day on BET. As in most things, I dove headfirst, never really considering whether the artist I admired embodied the things I thought she did.
I suppose we will never know. People have a way of hiding themselves behind masks. Some masks are positions like "pastor" or "teacher", some masks are labels like "bohemian" or "afro-centric", some masks are ideological like "Christian" or "Buddhist". Perhaps she was just manufactured to be an afro-goddess- filling a niche in the entertainment industry- selling a brand that people clung to simply because it was - and is - aspirational. Do you remember Iyanla Vazant? I think I bought every one of her "Value in the Valley" books... and then she pissed off Oprah! Google their reunion show and listen to her describe how "out of touch" she was while trying to convince the rest of us that she was "perfect". As a woman, I know now it isn't easy to be as above reproach as Iyanla and Badu seemed to be at the time. To this day I haven't mastered tying a headwrap like Erica, and truth be told, some of the things they spoke about I just could never understand (we educated fools are ruining the world - I know...LOL) . I memorized all the words to "call Tyrone" though! and I still have Iyanla's books. I found entertainment and hours of reading pleasure from them, and when the dust cleared, I found I had learnt something too.
"Nobody's perfect, nobody's perfect.... and that is perfectly fine".
It's cool if you never get it right, or if your choices aren't always the most popular. LIFE isn't about one moment (though a moment can change your life) and it isn't about what people think of you (because those people aren't spending enough time thinking about their own selves). LIFE is a sticky, messy, sometimes unfortunate, mostly remarkable, result of the choices we make everyday. We are not infallable, perfect, omnipotent gods (though I am finding many of us think we are). We do the best we can, try not to hurt too many people, apologize when we need to (or not) and love the people who love us back (if we're smart). All the rest of it- all the judgement (and the non-judgement) all the hurt (which is really anger with a pretty name) all the gratitude in the planet - is like a flat afro..... "it be's like dat sometimes".
I have had the fortune of learning at the feet of many wise women. I don't profess to know everything about everything (that's what google is for)... but I will tell you one thing that I know for sure: life is too short. I'm grateful that I know that now.
"b-smartenoughtoreadthebackofthebox"
The End
................................. (this will become a chapter in The Wall)
This post is for every person sitting behind their computers thinking someone else's life is better than theirs... no, it isn't!
(I'm on vacation- where are you?)
Recent Comments