Island Style

One shot

Two years ago yesterday, I started this little blog- the same day that Alexander McQueen died. How strange is it that exactly two years later, another brilliant talent, Whitney Houston died. There's something about February 11th it seems.

Anyway, I saw this picture yesterday, and I decided to share it. For me, every single emotion about the things that should matter to us in LIFE can be seen in that shot. It also reminds me of the way I was feeling when I decided to start this little hobby- I literally wanted to grab life by the horns and never let go! It goes by so fast, and sometimes we blink and miss it.

Yet another moment to stop and reflect- and go hug someone you love.

"b-withsomebodywholovesyou!"

xox

Tee

How to charm an angry chihuahua

I met a cute little guy two weeks ago while house hunting- and he hated me.

Usually I have a way with dogs. Having grown up with a plethora of furry friends, I presumed myself to be somewhat of a dog whisperer. Most dogs love me immediately, and even the most wary tend to warm up after a little coaxing. Not so with Beenie Man. (yep, his name is Beenie Man...LOL)

My initial plan was to do my usual cooing, where I bend down to their eye level- to remove the presumed threat, avert my eyes, for the same reason, and begin to say little things like "who loves you little buddy? who's a cute little fella?? wanna treat?"

I was met with a sharp bark, and he ran to the top of the sofa to scowl and sneer at me- and all the other little things (pun intended) that toy dogs do to let you know they aren't having it.

After he spent the better part of half an hour scowling and showing me his (surprisingly) clean little row of teeth, I left, unable to win him over. 

I could not get the dog out my mind.... but I chalked him up to the one that got away, and moved on.

Fast forward five more days, and I went back over to have a second look at the condo... and that's when I saw this:

Mister was a model! Immediately I knew what to do.

So I walked straight past him- like he wasn't there- and he quit barking right way. While I walked around the condominium looking at floorboards and room sizes, I never laid eyes on the little guy. When I was ready to leave, I looked down and he was faithfully trailing me, looking up for me to pet his little noggin. Completely smitten ... just like I knew he'd be.

 

Life Lesson:

When you're used to being catered to, it's always the one who completely ignores you that captures your attention.

This is true for people- and for dogs.

 

'b-thedogwhisperer"

xo

Tee

The Wall: How it began

If you haven't already done so, read part one HERE, and part FOUR here, before you begin below.

 

She heard someone say her name. It happened a lot to her. Nobody ever just said "Toya". It was always "Toya Turner". Some people may look at that and think it were a good thing- indicating some sort of appreciation for the individual in question. She would always think 'whenever they are talking about serial killers they use their full names too! "Jeffrey" just doesn't have the same effect as Jeffrey Dahmer'.... in her mind, it denoted a form of infamy. Truth be told it was a form of respect- but she would never see that.

She turned her head. Hearing her name like that indicated to her that this was not someone she was close to- all her friends knew how much it annoyed her. She looked up at the man next to her and thought "FUCK"... but instead she said " Liam..... hi!" - and flashed him a grin.

A million things went through her head-

"why did you take an early flight and wear no makeup, you idiot?"

"Why didn't you go blow your hair out instead of that wutless braid you clapped into it an hour ago?"

"Do you have any listerine breath strips???"

... don't let him sit here, don't let him sit here.... don't LET. HIM. SIT.... HEREEEE!!!!

 

Pretty Wings

I've been sick, not hospitalized, but heavily medicated, and for someone who loathes taking pills, the past month has been a trial. I am still functioning, but between work and Starfish, I haven't been in the mood for much else. It all started with one sharp pain in my side while lifting a sofa... yes, lifting it.... and things have snowballed into an avalanche of diagnoses and tests, and pills, and nausea.... and I'm reminded again how fragile our bodies can be- and just how important it is to "take good care".

There have been some "good" outfits too! ( you guys would love my snuggie-vicks- buckleys - snotty tissue outfit of January 1st 2012.) My plans for a night spent wearing a long red dress were thwarted and replaced with me, on a beanbag, under a comforter, watching the fireworks across the island. It wasn't so bad- a few good friends dropped by to ring in the new year with me, and I still scored the best first kiss of 2012. Not a complete loss.

It was, however, decidedly unglamorous. On the upside, LIFE has been teaching me a lot.

I tried to do my first post while I was bedridden, but my brand spanking new MACbook pro would not co-operate.

Lesson 1 : "Never let a computer know you're in a hurry".

I thought I was over the flu and could go back to concentrating on my second ailment, when I was told that things were even more complicated, and I had more pills to swallow.

Lesson 2: "Diamonds are formed under pressure. This won't be easy"

There have been a few notable outfits in the past 9 days- but sometimes my hair did not co-operate... and I just can't start off this new year of posts looking like a madwoman. As soon as my body recovers from ... everything... I will do a few full outfit posts. From today, I will show you guys some of the new shoes I scored this Christmas.

At the very least I can keep the momentum going, and share some of the things I've been liking lately.

And now, for the point of this post:

This morning when I was driving to work, I called a friend, who shall remain nameless, to complain about my health, and a slight that I had recently been told about- I was offended- and wanted to rant. (I specialize in righteous indignation) LOL. While dialing her number, another friend of mine called me to tell me that his father had died.

And that became Lesson 3 of 2012: "Life is fleeting, my loves. Lest we forget, we are here but for a time."

Lord, remind me how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me that my days are numbered - how fleeting my life is. You have made my life no longer than the width of my hand. My entire lifetime is just a moment to you; at best, each of us is a breath. We are merely moving shadows, and all our busy rushing ends in nothing. We heap up wealth, not knowing who will spend it. And so, Lord, where do I put my hope? My only hope is in you. 

Psalm 39 v4-7

So that's my first post of 2012- no resolutions, no outfit pics, no links to youtube. Just a short reminder of how quickly it all goes by. The one thing we have, everyday- and waste, everyday... is TIME.

luv ya lots

"b-thankful for LIFE"

Watch the stoic squirm

Like anyone worthy I am flattered by your fascination with me

Like any hot blooded woman I had simply wanted an object to crave

But you, you're not allowed

You're uninvited

An unfortunate slight.

Must be strangely exciting
To watch the stoic squirm
Must be somewhat heartening
To watch shepard meet shepard

But you you're not allowed
You're uninvited
An unfortunate slight

Like any uncharted territory
I must seem greatly intriguing
You speak of my love like
You have experienced love like mine before
But this is not allowed
You're uninvited
An unfortunate slight

I don't think you unworthy
I need a moment to deliberate.

                                Alanis Morissette

 

 

Last Weekend

we threw a party. And, as promised,here is another look at the headband... and the outfit. This is my fave pic,(BELOW) because I actually got a chance to sit down- hosting a party is loads of work...and we'd finally got a minute to sit and chat in the middle of the festivities. #toocuteforwords

 

It's Christmas time. I'm wishing you and your families a safe and happy holiday season. All the best for the new year from Island Style. ^_^

"b-blessed"

Toya

Fix your afro, mami... because it's flat on one side

I remember how I felt the day that I found out that Erica Badu's locks were fake. In a word, duped.

Erica Badu, she of the ankh and incense, and huge headwraps reaching toward the sky. She who championed the cause of the afro-centric, elevated, highly intelligent black females amongst us. There were many who could relate to her- because they aspired to be what she seemingly had become- in touch- at peace- aware.

I always had felt inadequate when I listened to Erica's songs. I kept in mind that she was an artist...LOL... but she was so "perfect" - and I was not, am not... will not. Be that as it may, I loved to listen to the songs and I was challenged to learn about the symbolism and I wanted to be a better "me" because of her. I wanted her beautiful huge afro, and her long twisted locks. I wanted to know why brass cuffs were "better" than Tiffany lockets. I wanted to stop relaxing my hair and "get back to my roots" first because Erica Badu did it - and looked good while doing it- every day on BET. As in most things, I dove headfirst, never really considering whether the artist I admired embodied the things I thought she did.

I suppose we will never know. People have a way of hiding themselves behind masks. Some masks are positions like "pastor" or "teacher", some masks are labels like "bohemian" or "afro-centric", some masks are ideological like "Christian" or "Buddhist". Perhaps she was just manufactured to be an afro-goddess- filling a niche in the entertainment industry- selling a brand that people clung to simply because it was - and is - aspirational. Do you remember Iyanla Vazant? I think I bought every one of her "Value in the Valley" books... and then she pissed off Oprah! Google their reunion show and listen to her describe how "out of touch" she was while trying to convince the rest of us that she was "perfect".  As a woman, I know now it isn't easy to be as above reproach as  Iyanla and Badu seemed to be at the time. To this day I haven't mastered tying a headwrap like Erica, and truth be told, some of the things they spoke about I just could never understand (we educated fools are ruining the world - I know...LOL) . I memorized all the words to "call Tyrone" though! and I still have Iyanla's books. I found entertainment and hours of reading pleasure from them, and when the dust cleared, I found I had learnt something too.

"Nobody's perfect, nobody's perfect.... and that is perfectly fine".

It's cool if you never get it right, or if your choices aren't always the most popular. LIFE isn't about one moment (though a moment can change your life) and it isn't about what people think of you (because those people aren't spending enough time thinking about their own selves). LIFE is a sticky, messy, sometimes unfortunate, mostly remarkable, result of the choices we make everyday. We are not infallable, perfect, omnipotent gods (though I am finding many of us think we are). We do the best we can, try not to hurt too many people, apologize when we need to (or not) and love the people who love us back (if we're smart). All the rest of it- all the judgement (and the non-judgement) all the hurt (which is really anger with a pretty name) all the gratitude in the planet - is like a flat afro..... "it be's like dat sometimes".

 

I have had the fortune of learning at the feet of many wise women. I don't profess to know everything about everything (that's what google is for)... but I will tell you one thing that I know for sure: life is too short. I'm grateful that I know that now.

"b-smartenoughtoreadthebackofthebox"

The End

................................. (this will become a chapter in The Wall)

This post is for every person sitting behind their computers thinking someone else's life is better than theirs... no, it isn't!

(I'm on vacation- where are you?)

Small up yuhself!

In the summer of 2001 I decided to ride on a bus in Jamaica.

I didn't need to- but I wanted to experience everything while I was there that month, and I'm usually such a princess and I had heard stories about how awful it was - so naturally I figured I had to experience it first hand.

Dizz parked his car in a plaza parking lot, and we walked across the street to the Halfway Tree bus terminal. In this re-enactment, I have lovingly referred to myself as "Lunatic".

Dizz:" Babylove. Yuh not gon like riding pon no bus. You sure bout dis?"

Lunatic:" yes, I'm sure. I don't see what the big deal is. I ride buses in Antigua all the time, we can catch this bus, go up the road a bit and then stop it and get off

Dizz: "okay!"

Lunatic: " it's gonna be alright man"

So we get to the terminal and the buses are huge (think the size of the local Party Bus in Antigua). People are packed into them like sardines, and there is no room- seated or standing- or hanging off the entrance rail.... no where!!!

I look up at the bus in front of me, and try to peek around the people queueing up to get inside. It seems like an impossible task- nobody else can fit- "the bus canna cross it!"

Lunatic: " This bus is packed, we have to go on the next one"

Dizz: " oh yeah?" . He looks amused, and I am not sure why.

Just then the conductor (I assume) yells at me

"daughta, yuh comin pon de bus? we soon move arf. Halffff-wayyyy tree!!!!!"

Lunatic: "is there room?"

Conductor: "yeah sis... just small up yuhself." He turns to yell inside the bus "small up yuhself man... we can tek een more still". Then he motions for me to go in.... there is NO ROOM... if I get into the bus, I may as well get a test for an STD. I would be thatclose to everyone!

I look at the bus- the sardines- the conductor- Dizz.

The conductor looks pissed... he's yelling "halfway tree! HALF WAY TREE!" to other approaching passengers who, unbelievably, are still getting into the sardine tin.

I found myself backing away, ashamed to admit I was wrong.

Lunatic: " Dizz,... you know ..... I don't think I'm dressed for this. This dress is silk! It would.. um.. wrinkle badly in such close quarters. Maybe tomorrow." I couldn't even meet his gaze.

He laughed at me for the rest of the day.

*shame*

 

This is dedicated to anyone who travels on public transportation! Just try small up yourself.

*wink*

xx

"b-sharingasmile"

 (Video by the Trini comedian Myron Bruce- get familiar!)

Great Expectations

Consider the metaphor of the Black Swan: The event is a surprise (to the observer) and has a major impact. After the fact, the event is rationalized by hindsight.

 

 Twenty years ago I won an award at my old High School. It was a huge event at the time- the first time the award had been presented, and at the time, I felt an awesome responsibilty to not let anyone down.

The week before, I was told that I would have to write a speech. I wasn't at all sure what I would say. I was 14, and I really thought that I had nothing to say of any great importance. I imagined going up to the podium, saying "thank you" and scurrying back to my seat.

The benefactor of the award, Mrs Clifton met with me the day before the ceremony. I remember clearly that she was holding my report cards in her hands, and she was telling me how pleased she was that I had been chosen, because she was confident that I would be the best student to be the "first winner". Though I was a good student in school, I wasn't convinced- there were other students who I thought were as smart, and who would take more conventional routes to success- even then I felt the twinges of the rebel I would become- and I felt an awesome amount of responsibilty not to let her down. I told her, "are you sure I should be the one?"

" you were chosen because your teachers and I see so much potential in you- we know it- and you just have to believe it. You are going to be a remarkable woman!  " she told me.

I chose to believe her.

In my speech that year I remember saying that I hoped that I would live up to everyone's expectations. I was such a naieve kid!

This weekend, purely by chance , I saw her at the airport. She was home to award the next recipient, 20 years after she had given me the first award. We hugged and chatted - she was full of life, but frailer, having suffered a fall earlier this year. Within minutes, we were doing a familiar dance: I was trying to get out of going to my old school with her to watch the presentation, and meet the new winner, she was trying to guilt me into coming. She told me "You're such a busy woman now I can't even get you to come to High School. Come! The girls always love to see you. Remember, when you won the award, these little girls weren't even born yet!" and she laughed, and I cringed. LOL

I decided that I would go.

Looking back I realize that my life changed in 1992- it wasn't a major shift- just a tiny adjustment to the way I thought about myself. If I could have told my 14 year old self one thing it would have been that  : There are always going to be expectations and opinions- we cannot control that. What we can do, is decide to live our own lives in such a way that we are always true to ourselves, and not living a life that others expect of us.

So maybe that will be part of my speech to the "new girl". After all, she's got some pretty big shoes to fill.

"You can only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough." Paul Coelho

"b-okaywithyourchoices"

If this doesn't make your heart melt- CHECK FOR A PULSE