The Extra Ordinary Man vs. The Extraordinary Man is a concept that I developed that saved my marriage. Basically there are three types of GOOD men. I assume that there is no point in talking about bad men because everybody has either been one or had one. The three types of good men are Ordinary, Extra Ordinary and Extraordinary.
The Ordinary Man will work hard and hold down a decent job. He will pay his tithes, bills, save and invest. He can cook, can clean and maintain the house. He will take care of the cars and the lawn. When the Ordinary Man becomes a father he will do his part. He will do all of the ordinary things that a husband would do.
The Extra Ordinary Man compares himself to other Ordinary men. He is not interested in doing or being Extraordinary. He is only interested in being better than her last guy. He is basically only doing a little bit more than the Ordinary Man because his woman asked him to. The Extra Ordinary Man is the guy that does the job of the Ordinary Man and then adds a little extra by paying all the bills and then thinking that money makes for a happy, successful relationship. "I pay all the bills, I don't know why she is not happy." How about the guy that says, "I am home every night," as if being home every night counts for something. What's funny about doing just a little bit extra, is that it is extra of the same. It's not more, it's extra. It's not better, it's just extra. You may hear an Extra Ordinary Man say, "I do my part," but to be Extraordinary it is not about what you do, it's about who you are. Too many men are focusing on what they are doing instead of developing who they are as a person.
I was an Extra Ordinary Man. To become an Extraordinary Man I had to develop my person. I had to become more man. The problem with being an Extra Ordinary Man in 2010 is that the 2010 Woman wants an Extraordinary Man, whether she is Extraordinary, Extra Ordinary or Ordinary. Seems unfair initially but after careful analysis of the structure of marriage a man must come to the realization that God left Adam in charge. Additional responsibility comes with being in charge. Additional sacrifice comes with being in charge. To be in charge means that you are charged with being Extraordinary.
The Extraordinary Man will never put his hands on a woman. Any man that would hit a woman is afraid of the woman. Why else would a man involve himself in an unfair fight? All men should feel like they are good for taking on at least five women at a time.
The Extraordinary Man does not argue with his woman. Men, understand, the more that you argue with your woman, the more she loses respect for you as a man. If your woman is always arguing with you it's because she thinks that you are a woman.
The Extraordinary Man is open to allowing his woman have the last word. Women need to express themselves. Be man enough to listen and not have what she says effect your manhood. A woman cannot take a man's manhood. A man can only give away his manhood.
The Extraordinary Man is open to apologizing first, every time. Men, remember that you are in charge. You are responsible for problem resolution. You cannot be a part of the problem. Apologizing first doesn't mean that you are wrong, it means that you are man enough to accept responsibility for whatever is wrong. Apologizing first is leadership by example.
The Extraordinary Man does not require extraordinary in return in order to be extraordinary. Did Michael Jordan expect all the other guys on the team to play like Michael Jordan? Being extraordinary is an internal challenge. Every day men challenge themselves to be the best lawyer, doctor or businessman but they are not challenging themselves to be an Extraordinary Man. To be a Husband is to be an Extraordinary Man. All husbands are to strive to be the absolute best that they can be.
Sometimes I wonder if God chose to do it all over again would He still leave man in charge.
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http://blogs.essence.com/relationship_report/#ixzz10T6zawrG
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