Island Style

iQuit

I woke up with a thought just now..... Steven Jobs' most important invention is one that could never make it to production. It's called the iQuit. I was 100% sure there would be lots of images for this app... because there are plenty of random people who think like me, and google brings us all together. So here goes:

 

If any of you have read Steve's life story- either here on this blog, or seen the first Apple commercial also here, you know most of what Steve's life philosophies were. As I was rolling around in bed, willing myself to get up and go to work at 5 am on a Saturday... I know (FML), I thought to myself - what would Steve Jobs do? NO LIE.

Based on what I know of him, he would have probably figured out a way to make the early morning treks to the office while everyone else sleeps- every day!!! (FML) !!!!!- routine I have - into a positive. Maybe I won't ever have a God Wink moment like he did with his college calligraphy class; but I use the hour it takes between the time I wake up and the time the sun comes up to write. I'm positive the work I do will pay off exponentially someday. Not that I'm writing with that goal in mind, but the satisfaction I get out of knowing that we never know where life will take us- is enough for me.

It's kind of like how this blog started for me... a way to get away from the addictive monster that is Facebook, but still connect with my friends and family. It evolved into a business, and a daily... okay more like weekly, labour of love- with followers who write and say "NEW POST PLEASE" from all over the world. I never thought that would happen... in my wildest dreams I didn't think- 'oh, somebody I may never meet from the Faroe Islands, is gonna write to say they love my writing style'. I never planned this all the way to the end.

 I'm a professional accountant... not exactly the kind of person who cranks out stories for a living... but then again...

"Writers aren't exactly people... they're a whole lot of people trying to be one person."- F Scott Fitzgerald (1896-1940)

... maybe he's right!

My early morning writing sessions are always productive, because it is so quiet and I can really allow my thoughts to flow. I try to limit myself to an hour- and I'm usually ready to get to the office by the time I'm done. So, iQuit being angry that I don't ever have free weekends like the rest of the world. At least I've got a paycheck- and I'm grateful.... and now I've eked out a full hour of quiet time every morning to do something I love.

I'm gonna quit complaining about getting up so early.

"B-hungry, B-foolish"

 

Quack Quack Quack Quack

There is an old Buddhist saying : " When the student is ready, the teacher will come."

 

We are very busy people... and sometimes we need to be reminded that the days are long- but the years are short.

And so it happened that last evening I was getting ready to go to a dinner meeting when my not-quite 3 year old nephew walked into my room.

"Elmo" he said, jumping up on the bed and heading for my laptop.

"Ethan, aunty's very very busy... no Elmo right now."

He looked at me and said "no Elmo?????  Auntie buffering?"

Now this child... is a genius clearly! Whenever the internet connection is very slow and the videos won't load, I would always tell him that the video is buffering, so he just needed to wait a little bit and it would start to show again. This usually resulted in me watching it at least three times in a row... and try as I might to convince him that once was enough- apparently once is never enough when you are two years old.

He was learning to associate things I would say to him in passing, with his everyday life. He basically told me that I was holding him up, and he was prepared to wait. It was that simple - he was ready to sit on my lap and sing along- meeting be damned! ( Naturally I am projecting- at two years old, who knows if he even realized what he said) I figured in that moment that I should choose to love my nephew enough to be late for my meeting, and boot up my HP.

You should've heard me singing ..." Elmo had 4 ducks... quack quack quack quack"

LOL

"b-agoodauntie"

Do You Remember?

 

 

 

I tend to dwell on things too much. It's one of my major flaws I think. I always wanna go back- wanna do-over, wanna fix the mistakes I've made.

In the past six months, I've spent too much time doing just that... literally wishing I could go back to the "day before" like Heather Headley said- "escape my regret." My rational mind tells me that it makes no sense, after all who are we but the sum of our experiences? I get my best material from drawing on the experiences I've endured to get "here".

Yesterday was another significant "day before" for all of us. That will always be the day we remember as the one before the landscape of New York City changed forever. The actions of extremists, and the reactions of what I call the protectionists, have brought us into a post- 9/11 world. Everyone's lives were changed on that day.

I have a friend who worked at Morgan Stanley in the World Trade Center building- Tower One I think. I didn't know whether he had survived after the Towers collapsed, and I sat at my desk and watched the clock until the workday was over that Tuesday and I could go home and try to reach him.

It was one of the longest days of my life.

What I remember most about 9/11 is that I was filled with regret. It was quite possibly the first time in my adult life that I was acutely aware of the "realness" of death. This may seem odd- but when we're living, are we really thinking about dying? Funerals make us remember- but we are usually ready for the funeral by the time it comes- and we have remains to bury. That tragedy was so sudden and swift that it felt like everyone's world fell apart. Nobody was prepared.

In those days, everybody you loved was a phonecall or a plane ride away. There was always tomorrow to get in touch, or to fly home to see them. The things you most wanted to do with your life could always wait. You had forever to say I love you, quit your job and volunteer, climb the mountain, write the book, forgive your old best friend. I remember what that lack of urgency feels like...vaguely.

I was so sorry that day for all the things I would never get to do with him - dance at his wedding ( we had a pact), meet his girlfriend, see the "tiniest apartment in Manhattan" as he called it... tell him thanks for never forgetting my birthday....ever! I went into the bathroom and cried. 

........ my friend emailed me three days later. He had run out of the building, covered in powdery concrete, and survived. He's no longer in finance. He decided to move back home, grow dreadlocks and become a deejay. HAHA. He's happy- and so am I.

(xoxo Maddix)

Tee

For colored girls had me seeing red

I finally dragged myself out of the house and went to see the movie- with someone who shall remain nameless.

 

Everything was as it always is:- I pass on the overpriced confectionaries and sodas, wrap my pashmina around me (because me allllwayyyysss cold in the cinema) and I get myself comfortable in the semi-comfortable seats (my legs are long, so it takes some doing). This is not a review so I will just skip to the argument that ensued.

Michael Ealy (swoon) was holding his babies out the window. The crowd was muttering curses and "a wha ya's" to the left and right ( need I say I was at Deluxe?) LOL.... and my companion says:

"It is her fault"

So I spin around, exorcist-like, and I say "say what mutha......???? what you mean it is her fault?"

and then, dear reader.... he says " she could have just said 'it's the driver' and he would have not gone so far. She just stubborn and she already know how the man be."

What I learned this week

The secret to a successful relationship:

 

"DON'T BE AN ASSHOLE, DON'T BE A DOORMAT"

Really.

It will take you far in life.

^_^

It's the weekend- try to get out and do something.

I'ma let you finish....

 

so there I am clicking SEND on an order (you know how I do) when I found myself on the receiving end of a crude, off-colour comment by someone who shall remain nameless. The comment in itself is not that important, save to say that people really need to THINK more and SPEAK  less.... but I digress....I thought to myself- wait, is this the VMA's up in here???

And then I decided- instead of my usual nasty retorts (yes, I know myself) I gave in to the silence. (Actually I just clicked on something else on the screen).... I'm not that "zen".

I'ma let you finish your rant, Kanye - cause I'm already ignoring what you're saying- and you are clearly rude and an embarassment to your mother.

 

"b-above it... or at least try hard"

 

The Coven

Men are scared of women.

Men are scared of women and their friends.

This is a little known fact, and one that I've realized can spare you a lifetime of heartache. My mother used to warn me against men who would try to separate me from my friends. She would say that any man that wanted to come in to your life like a lion- killing all competitors, chasing away all friends, and establishing himself as an alpha-male, was a man to steer clear of.

Have you ever dated a guy who said "your friends are trouble. I don't know why you hang out with them!".

Have you ever dated a guy who said " who are you going to believe? your friends, or me?"

If you have, then you're probably dating a guy who is trying to sell you the idea that you should choose him and your relationship with him, over your friends. In his mind, spending time with your friends means something along the lines of the witches in Macbeth. He imagines you all sit around a pot, sharing secrets and planning schemes to control them. Absurd- and impossible to prove... haha.

Forget about what anyone tells you. If you don't have friends- real ones who will tell you the things you can't handle hearing... you are very alone.

 

IN PRAISE AND SUPPORT OF FRIENDS

 

Female friends are important because they are your sounding board for letting you know when you are blinded by euphoria and are missing the real picture.

"everybody thinks he's gay, honey"

"okay, seriously, if you do that, I'm going to pretend I don't know you. Pull it together!"

 
 "I'm going to a funeral this afternoon. If I see your love-life in the cemetary, I'll send it right on home"

"heifer!!! you can do better!"  

 
"Just do it- he'll get over it.... eventually"

^_^

Friday night with the girls ended when the wine bar was flooded due to a freak rainstorm.... just like the first lines uttered by the witches in Macbeth

"when shall we three meet again? In thunder, lightning or in rain?"

How strangely appropriate. I wonder if men are actually on to something!

^_^

"b-one of the girls"

Tee

 

 

SHUT. THE. FRONT.DOOR!!!

Why do so many of us think that everyone is entitled to OUR opinion?

 

So today I learned:

In LIFE, we hope to not only establish something close and meaningful with our significant others, we also are hoping that they will mesh nicely into our existing family structures. The word "family" can be construed loosely to encompass everyone we value, blood relatives or not. What we do when we invite people into our lives, is exactly like  "opening the door" to parts of ourselves and indirectly, parts of the people we love. Most other people will never get the opportunity to experience that level of intimacy with us.  

Nothing makes you want to close people off faster than unwarranted, hell let's be honest- unwelcome, criticisms of the family and friends that you love.

Do you remember the movie "Meet the Fockers" ? That is the caricature of what it is like when we are trying to mesh our lives. As much as the Fockers made you laugh....the movie "The Stepfather does the exact opposite.  

Reason # 21 that it's great to be an adult: 2 WORDS: Impulse Control

"Most people are open books. They say what they feel, blurt out their opinions at every opportunity, and constantly reveal their plans and intentions. They do this for several reasons. First, it is easy and natural to always want to talk about one's feelings and plans for the future. It takes effort to control your tongue and monitor what you reveal. Second, many people believe that by being honest and open they are winning people's hearts by showing them their good nature. They are greatly deluded. Honesty is actually a blunt instrument, which bloodies more than it cuts. Your honesty is likely to offend people: it is much more prudent to tailor your words, telling people what they want to hear rather than the coarse and ugly truth of what you feel or think. '

excerpt from Robert Greene The 48 Laws of Power

I'm not suggesting that the excerpt above completely addresses the issue of overly opinionated people, but any reasonable person can see where it applies.

If you find yourself in a position where, having "opened the door", someone's judgements and unsolicited opinions offend, distress, irritate, or otherwise bother you.... you can just tell them to SHUT. THE. FRONT. DOOR.

^_^

tee

Mellow Yellow

I love everything about this shot. I'm wearing my fav color, bag, and gadget.... but mostly I "love" the super tacky looking earrings I am wearing.

I remember clearly when I picked them up in the ALDO store. I had wanted to get a single pair, and when I was cashing out, the salesgirl told me that in order to get it at half price, I would have to grab any other item from the wall.

You know how sometimes the entire wall of accessories is just piles and piles of garbage? This was one of those times, so I said to her, "just grab something else and throw it in the bag".... and there you have it- I'm now the proud owner of an incredibly tacky pair of earrings and one good life lesson: never let a stranger pick out anything that you have to pay for, regardless of the price... it may not end well.

Ima wear the earrings though... they may have been "three ninety-nine" but I'm sure they're gonna save me a million bucks.

Arachnaphobia

 

I killed a spider today.

My whole life I've run from them- literally. Picture high pitched screams and rapid breathing and cold sweats! I'm scared of them, I'm okay with animals for the most part- with the exception of sharks; but insects and anything that has more than four legs gets eyed very suspiciously, and I try to find some suitable weapon for self defense.

I'm afraid of spiders because I'm terrified that one will bite me. In my head, spiders lurk in corners and perfectly good pairs of shoes and wait for you to fall asleep, or slide your foot inside, and from the deep recesses, they spring on you and inject you with a venom which will make you ultimately die, leaving your shoes behind. The injustice!! LOL. I know that this is deeply irrational. I have always had a healthy imagination- and I'll never change. The only way to overcome the fear is to confront it, RIGHT?

Speaking of confrontation, I have always been a bit of a novice. I tend to use soothing words more than harsh ones, and I try not to raise my hands - if I can help it. I'd like to whack a spider...... I just never had the nerve before. But yesterday it was like someone threw a drink in my face- literally, and it has woken me up.

Before yesterday I was becoming someone else. I mean it was still me... but I was someone else's me, not MY  me. These changes tend to happen insiduously. First, you may change the way you dress, or speak, or you distance yourself from people and situations in order to "make' someone else happy.Or, you choose a career, or a partner, to mirror other people's expectations of who you should be... and what makes for a "successful" life. The process takes months. In the end you just find yourself in an out-of-body situation.... watching someone else's life and drama play out in front of you- knowing it's you... but refusing to believe it. In those moments, you find yourself dumbstruck. No well adjusted, reasonably intelligent person would allow this to happen- and moreoften than not, you haven't- not knowingly at least.

See, here's the thing- it's either you are living an authentic life with people who love and celebrate even your most infuriating ways, or you are a shell. Zero voice, echoing someone else's sentiments, laughing at someone else's jokes, living someone else's dream, being someone else's YOU.

The universe has a way of showing you what you're becoming- holding up a mirror and challenging you to see if the life you're leading is enriching or devaluing who you are. You should be hated for who you are, not loved for who you are not. It's a knee in your throat sometimes, a kick in the gut, a hard dose of reality. It will never be pleasant- and you will likely buckle and cry. Right then , it's time for you to stare your fear in the face- and kill that fucking spider!

"b-who you really are"